Pain

I want to feel the pain again.

I want to cut myself again.

I want to see the blood again.

But then there are times,

when I want to be free,

like a bird in the sky,

like a dolphin in the sea.

One day i´m happy,

on the other sad.

And I don´t want to crying all night in my bed.

And then there are questions in my head:

Why can´t I be like the bird in the sky?

Why can´t I be like the dolphin in the sea?

I´m standing here and look in the sky, I think:

I hate myself,

I want to die ....